Definitely not a Harry Potter Reference

While sitting at my kitchen table attempting to do work at 11:30 on a Wednesday evening, I was rudely roused from my studious state by some banging on (what appeared to be) the neighboring building. 
I got up from the table to see where the noise was coming from and out from the bushes popped a man.

Him: "Hello! .... I've been knocking"

Me: (from the inside of my door... yes Mom and Dad I had my wits about me enough not to answer the door) "umm... hi?"

Him: "Well... I can see this is kind of strange... I... I..."

Me: "can I help you?"

Him: "You see, this is going to sound strange... but I... uh... I was noticing your ferns out here" (we have some sad porch plants. They're sad because they are slightly dehydrated at the moment)

Me: "... yes?"

Him: "... well... you see..."

Me: "... maybe you could come back when it's light out."

Him: "Oh. Okay. I was just hoping to resuscitate your staghorn."

... only in Mission Beach.  

image found here