Life Lessons:

How To Treat Others 

or 

Why the Airport is the wrong place to sell credit cards:

Because I worked in customer service (at Starbucks) for over a year, I hold myself to an unspoken rule that I will never, ever, be as rude as some of the customers that I had to serve.

Before I begin this blog, I will ask you a question that I ask my best friends all the time before giving them what non-superclose friends would categorize as “too much information.”

How close are we? If we are close enough that some more “personal” information wont damage your perception of me, please keep reading. If we are not that close yet, please feel free to skip this blog and go on down to the next one.

However, when I made that rule to myself almost four years ago, I did not calculate the extreme cases where situations will be completely out of my control… for example, when I have to go to the bathroom… badly.

The Background Story: I was en rout between Florida and San Diego and had a stopover in Atlanta. Our plane was late leaving. It smelled like baseball stadium bathroom on a hot day, and it had some stomach churning dips and swoops that would have had any frequent flyer’s heart fluttering. I was a little less than comfortable to begin with. That, combined with the two plane flights ahead of me and 11 hours of Total Travel Time, made me a less-than-happy traveler.

Here’s what happened: In between the 30 minutes when the captain puts the Fasten Seat Belt Light on to descend, and our landing, I realized that I had to go to the bathroom. I did not realize how badly until I stood up to get my baggage from the overhead compartment. Maybe my full bladder tempted the fates. Or maybe I was simply on board with the least competent group of plane disembarkers. And here you have it, a first hand example of how, when my bladder is full, I transform from a normally well-meaning individual to a vicious, rude half-human. I was overtly rude to exactly four individuals from the moment I stood up on the plane to this moment right now (one even happened after I eventually found the bathroom).

First, it took an unusually long time to get off the plane. At first I was singing songs to myself and trying different mantras like “patience is a virtue” but that stopped working when the woman who shoved her obese suitcase into the overhead compartment could not get it out again. Then I got angry. I was angry at the woman. I was angry at her bag. I was angry at the people in front of me who did not realize that the girl behind them had a full bladder. So here I was mentally rude to Atlanta and my fellow travelers.

Then, while walking up the ramp, a man decided that he and his rolly bag needed the whole walk way. “Excuse me sir! Excuse me!” as I tried to skuttle around him. But no. No he did not feel the need to move out of the way and save potential years of my life (the stress of having a full bladder is almost incomparable. I once heard a comedian say that any time he felt depressed he would drink too much water because if your bladder is full you think about nothing else) He just cared about taking his sweet time strolling up the walk way. Finally I shouted a final EXCUSE ME and quite literally pushed past him. And here I only half feel bad because I am hoping that my little nudge would bring him back to the reality that there are more individuals in the world than himself.

Moral of the Story #1: While venting about this to Sam, he reminded me that I am often just like that oblivious man -- (this was news to me as I am oblivious) … 
I am now vowing to do my best to A. go to the bathroom more often to avoid these extreme situations and B. act like everyone around me has a full bladder. This will hopefully make me much more kind and accepting and understanding.

Then I was rude to a woman in the bathroom. You should not let your child run rampant among the full-bladdered people. (I know I will feel differently when I have a child.)

After I had finally gone to the bathroom, I began the trudge to my connecting gate  (I have clearly started to reep in the karma for all of my rudeness already because I just went from one wing of the Atlanta airport to exact opposite wing. You could not get father away. The wireless does not even reach over here) 


Along the way, a man in red jumped out at me and asked “Do you want a free flight!?” 
As I was still gathering my wits that had been lost in the last half hour, I was caught completely off guard. “Of course I would like a free flight… but I don’t think I want to do the shenanigans involved to get it” (rude I know… I had left my filter in 35C) 
Him: “Well actually you just have to come over here and sign this” 
Me: “Ah! A credit card! No.” 
Him: “What!? Why?” 
Me: “I cant do credit cards” 
Him: “Why?” 
Me: "because I just cant" 
Him: Why? 
Me: Because I don’t FREAKING WANT ONE. (okay I did not say that but at this point I was actually walking away while talking to him. Here is where I had an out of body experience that went like this “wow that girl is being so rude to the guy in the red shirt… AH! Kendra! Its YOU!!!”) And here again I was angry at Atlanta because WHY, would you EVER try to SELL someone something in an AIRPORT when people are already harangued around enough by security and trying to make it to their gate and the general stress of traveling.

Moral of the Story #2: when in a bad mood, keep to yourself until the mood improves or else the mood will worsen.

{this is something I wrote from a while ago but never got around to posting}