The Time Travelers Wife

 WARNING!! If you have not read The Time Travelers Wife and you plan to, this blog talks about the ending so just skip right down to the next blog.

I am tempted to blame what I am about to say on my young strict diet of Disney Princesses (my parents would not allow me to have Barbies because they did not have enough body fat to menstruate, but I WAS allowed to have "Disney Princess Dolls" which looked quite similar) and happy endings. I read fantasy books as if they grew right out of my arms (all of my busies were from attempting to walk up stairs and read at the same time) and alternately I have been convinced that I was A. a siren B. magical and C. the girl that would fall asleep in the middle of middle school and could only be woken up by her true love. SO, with that said, it was very hard for me that this book did not end happily. Actually I guess that, that is up for debate. I have a friend that believes that it DOES end happily. I, unfortunately don't see it like that.

I absolutely loved the beginning and how Henry knew Claire when she was little (I was actually very jealous of Clair in the beginning for having such a wonderful "mentor"). I also loved reading about them in the present, however, it was very difficult for me when he would leave her (this could also be because one of my (possibly greatest) fears is being left alone... definitely something to think more about---)

The worst part for me was that she waited. She had already spent her whole life waiting for Henry, and then even after he died, she still waited. Maybe it would have been different for me had her life after Henry been highlighted a little more… maybe she was happy, maybe she was not waiting, maybe she had a wonderful circle of supportive friends (other than Gomez, who I was very disturbed by)… I can only guess. But what we do know is that the day that Henry met Alba, Clair was running to see him and he disappeared before she could get to him, and we know that the last entry of Clair’s was her putting on her sweater, waiting. Maybe this is hard for me because I try so hard to not wait… this whole blog is about not waiting. In my moments of waiting, I lose touch with the present… and living. One friend thinks it is beautiful that she waits-- that this is a perfect example of how strong their love is.

But is it really love?
Because they never actually had a choice.
Do we have a choice who we love?
Did she choose to wait?

This is probably more than you ever wanted to know about me, but, other than Sam, I have had two really significant relationships. Both of them just walked out of my life. One on a Thursday, one on a Saturday. I, quite literally, never heard from them again. Obviously, this has shaped who I am today and how I see love. I still am a helpless romantic and I believe that love does conquer all… but (to quote Cher) I do believe there is life after love. And love after love!

Here I am glad that I am not an elitist when it comes to movies and even if it is a bad romantic comedy, it is a romantic comedy nonetheless and I will probably still watch it… so I watched Must Love Dogs. It is cute. In it, the dad lost his wife a few years ago. He is dating someone new and the daughter (main character) does not understand. He explains to her that her mother was the love of his life, his soul mate, and that the love that they shared will never be lost or forgotten, but he still had more life ahead of him and he wanted to spend that time loving someone.

I believe that loving someone(s) makes life worth it.

While loosing the one you love would be the hardest thing in the world, wouldn’t life be that much harder if you could never truly live again (because, to me, life without love is not living)? Yes, living would look a little different. And loving would look a little different. But I have to have hope (and I guess this could be considered a different breed of helpless romantic) that we can still love after we have lost. Because life without love would just make the loss that much worse.

This book challenged two things that are central to my belief system. A. That she waited… and B. that, in her waiting, she (as far as we know) never loved or lived again.

This is why my heart broke in Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (for the grandparents) and absolutely burst (with joy!) in 500 days of Summer.

I have so many questions and absolutely no answers—and not just about this book. The book is just the beginning. I feel very alone in this, because I feel like no one understands (and why should they, I don’t even understand) why I did not like this book...
 

Here is what I do know:
 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13