Tonight during "Family Night" my dad asked me if I could still play either of the piano pieces that I learned last year [I played the piano for many years as a child and have been trying to reincorporate it into my life]. I responded "Um, probably not as I have not looked at a piano in four months" at which point he pouted at me <-- here is where I got irritated. ((I am very lucky that both of my parents are supportive and encouraging. By no means did my dad mean to hurt my feelings when he pouted like this, but nonetheless, I pulled a Kendra and was offended))
Going through my head:
I'm SORRY that I am not SUPER CHILD and I am SORRY that I cannot WHIP OUT piano music after not having SEEN a piano in four months!!
I WISH that I could!! TRUST ME!!
I wish that when I woke up in the morning I practiced my scales and my chord progressions and learned another line of Rachmaninoff....
... and put on a big pot of tea
... and meditated for half an hour
... and did six sun salutes {while praying and being thankful}
... and read a chapter of my book, and part of my One-Year-Bible, and the newspaper
... and checked CNN.com and BBC.com and The New Yorker and The Writers Almanac
... and made a smoothie with fruit, protein powder and flax
... and went on a jog
... and blogged
... and made a salad for my lunch
... and uploaded all of my pictures
... and worked on my scrap book
... and sewed a dress
... and wrote Thank You Notes
... and picked out a recipe for dinner
... and let everyone in my life know that they were loved
... and cleaned my room
... and picked out tomorrows outfit
... and answered all of my emails
... and put on a big pot of tea
... and meditated for half an hour
... and did six sun salutes {while praying and being thankful}
... and read a chapter of my book, and part of my One-Year-Bible, and the newspaper
... and checked CNN.com and BBC.com and The New Yorker and The Writers Almanac
... and made a smoothie with fruit, protein powder and flax
... and went on a jog
... and blogged
... and made a salad for my lunch
... and uploaded all of my pictures
... and worked on my scrap book
... and sewed a dress
... and wrote Thank You Notes
... and picked out a recipe for dinner
... and let everyone in my life know that they were loved
... and cleaned my room
... and picked out tomorrows outfit
... and answered all of my emails
to name a few.
Something you did not know about me but that you are not surprised to learn:
On my MacBook {named Emma} there is a whole folder in Documents titled "To Do." Not surprisingly, the entire folder is filled with my To Do Lists [some just have dates for titles (e.g. 11.23.08) and some have categories (e.g. Movies)].
You know that you are in trouble when your To Do list reads:
What happens when your life becomes one big list instead of one big life?
How do I turn my lists into living?
To Do:- live first, make lists second
I know that tonight I was projecting onto my dad my own dissatisfaction with myself. I do wish that I could be "Super Kendra"-- the Kendra who drinks green tea for the antioxidants, keeps her scrapbooks all up to date, completes her Christmas shopping in November and has everything together always.
To Do:
- be happy with who I am (even if that person procrastinates, throws her clothes around, gets toothpaste all over her face when brushing her teeth and generally runs 4-18 minutes late)
No comments:
Post a Comment